A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up after he had prescribed testosterone for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.
"Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much,"she said: “I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."
"A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone,” the doctor reassured her: "Just where has this hair appeared?"
"On my testicles."
A man walked up to a farmer's house and knocked on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, and again asked the same question. Again, not amused, she screamed: "Get the hell away!”
Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case. Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said: "Yes."
The man replied: "Great! Give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to stay the hell away from my wife!"
What's the difference between your new wife and your new dog?
After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began: "My husband wants me to ask you..."
"I know, I know," the doctor interrupted, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder: "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in your pregnancy."
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed: "He wants to know if I can still shovel the driveway."
God is worn out, so he tells St. Peter: "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions about where I might go?"
St. Peter thinks, and then says: "How about Jupiter? It's nice this time of year."
God says: "No, too much gravity on Jupiter. It hurts my back."
St. Peter says: "OK, how about Mercury?"
God says: "No way! It's way too hot for me on Mercury."
St. Peter exclaims: "I know! How about going to Earth for your vacation?"
God says: "Are you kidding? I went there 2,000 years ago, had an affair with some Jewish girl, and they're still talking about it!"
J Swavely
Posts
